TAG’s new blog series, FORTNIGHTLY TALES, continues. This week’s piece by Rémi Le Gallo – Le Manach was inspired by Cookie Clicker.
For over 5 weeks now, TAG has been playing Cookie Clicker. It’s been an unplanned, collective experience that has kept our attention, even sparked serious debates about what strategy is best to make the most cookies. Next time you pass by TAG, make your way towards the TV and click some cookies.
The cookie jar was open. All the children were around the table sharing the cookies inside.
The dough was good, soft and not too sugary… And the chocolate chips! They were big, crunchy, and really really tasty. You could eat and eat those biscuits for hours, if there were enough of them.
Everyone was eating, and drinking a glass of strawberry juice.
And then, as she was chomping, Lucie spoke :
« You know, I saw a documentary the other day on TV… It was about cookies and where they come from. They said that there are scientists in India who are trying to grow a cookie tree! »
The others stopped eating. Elizabeth laughed and looked at Lucie in disbelief:
« How could a cookie tree possibly exist ? You’re talking rubbish !
– I am not sure but you know, on TV, they said…
– How could you take whatever the TV says as something true ? Ha ha ha, it’s so funny!! »
Then little Jonathan cleared his throat to get their attention :
« My grandmother baked the cookies we’re eating, but she didn’t pick them from trees…
– I just said that scientists ARE makING cookie trees, not that they already exist ! answered Lucie.
– And and and I know where cookies really come come from ! »
That was Philip, he rarely spoke but when he did you knew it.
« Because there is a cookie factory near my place ! Everyday, tons of trucks stuffed with biscuits biscuits-
– That is a quadricuit, said Lucie at a low voice. Philip didn’t hear her :
– go out of the building and spread them all around the country country country country !
– Of course they come from factories, where else ? Do you think they could be extracted from cookie mines ? Ha ha ha ! »
Suddenly, Lena awoke. She wasn’t really sleeping, but the others wouldn’t have known the difference, as she was fully absorbed in the contemplation of her glass of juice. She raised her head, stared at everybody, one after another…then she looked attentively at her cookie :
« Why couldn’t they truly come from mines ? The chips look like small stones, as if it was some chocolate rock… As if there were people who’d go in the depths with pickaxes, and they’d mine chocolate ore right from the walls of the hole they’re digging…
– Lena, you are rambling, you know. Philip just said that cookies were made in factories.
– Yes, and my grandmother also bakes cookies… We go to her house every Sunday and at four, she brings us cookies that came right out of the oven.
– But the problem is, continued Lena without paying any attention to her friends, that chocolate ore doesn’t exist here Earth… It’s as if it went from elsewhere, outside in the space… From the Planet Cookie, maybe ? Yeah, that’d be great…
– My grandmother makes dark chocolate biscuits, and white chocolate too… We eat them with milk. »
At this point, everything became a bit confusing. Lena kept speaking up about the Planet Cookie, that must be really far away since nobody can see it with a telescope ; Lucie tried to rationalize her by saying that if cookies really came from a distant planet, they would surely be stale by the time they arrived on Earth; Elizabeth laughed at everybody as if they were all talking nonsense, and asked how could they really care about such a subject; and Philip was silent.
« I tell you that cookies chips are not made from gold chips ! Alchemy does not really work, you know !
– Ha ha ha, that’s too funny ! You look like apes, screaming like you do !
– No, Lena, no, you cannot bring biscuits from other dimensions, you know ! Scientists have not discovered how to create portals to the multiverse yet !
– But maybe they can condensate the antimatter that exist in our own universe into cookies… As if you took snow to make a snowball… Perhaps they can do that with cookie dough too…
– I swear, I’ve never seen a hippopotamus.
– Sometimes, my grandmother let me help her making cookies. I take the flour and the sugar, and I blend them with a wooden spoon… Then we add the eggs. We have to be very careful not to let any pieces of eggshell get in the dough, it wouldn’t be good.
– Oh Jonathan, can you stop with your grandma ? Nobody cares about your stupid recipe !! »
Jonathan stopped talking. What he had heard made him red with anger and sadness. He stared at Lucie.
« My grandmother’s recipe is NOT STUPID !
– But we have other things to talk about than eggshell and sugar, you know !
– MY GRANDMOTHER’S RECIPE IS NOT STUPID !! I’ll tell her what you said, and she’ll be very furious ! She won’t let any of you eat her cookies after that, she’ll take them to the scary monsters in the basement ! They deserve my grandmother’s biscuits more than you !
– I am sor- »
Jonathan bursted out of the table. He was shaking, maybe crying a bit too. He disappeared into the hallway.
And nobody dared touch the cookies anymore. They were all thinking about the angry boy, his furious grandmother, and the scary monsters in the basement.